I had the pleasure of joining an online Zoom call today hosted by Laura McKowen. She is a leader in the sobriety world and I mentioned her a bit in my last two posts. She wanted to hold a digital space to bring people together, particularly for those who may feel lost in sobriety or desire the additional support and communion during this socially distanced period.
It was a beautiful meeting. I’ve never been to AA, though many who spoke up seemed to have experience with it. But it was more than just that. For one, it was not an AA sponsored event. This was purely from the joy and soul of Laura as she spoke from the comfort of her living room. And that’s what made it so special. The few people, the four out of four hundred, I got to see atop my screen were all sitting in the safety of their homes. Kitchens and living rooms and bedrooms as their backdrops. Wall pictures and potted plants off to the sides. One wrapped in a cozy comforter nestled in their big chair. I was them and they were me. There were stories shared and tears shed. It was more than a meeting. Mostly because it wasn’t that. It was a community. It was a coming together. It was a sharing of space and time while we all live in this same space and time.
I was reminded of our greater humanity.
I felt connected.
I felt the connection.
The theme was surrender and it could not have been more perfect for me on this morning as I sat on my own chair, toggled between the kitchen and dining room. Within my own mind, torn between this or that.
I thought of how often I’ve had to surrender. How it shows up in my life, not just in sobriety but in a call for all things I try to control. Again and again I must surrender. Today I surrender and tomorrow I will need to again. I’m learning this is OK. I’m learning this is the way. I’m learning this is where I am.
. . .
As the time together drew to an end, “Let it Go” played in the background, the accompaniment to my children’s activity. And that, too, couldn’t have been more perfect. Laura ended with a passage reading which reminded us all we can do this thing. Moment by moment we do it. We’re doing it now.
The call ended. I walked outside and let the air fill my lungs. I heard the birds sing and saw the bright yellow daffodils waver in the wind. I raised my arms above my head and stretched my hands to the sky. It was an overcast grayish blue. I thought of all the people from the call who were now going about their day–and those who had no part in this but were somewhere in their Tuesday. Thanks and presence entered my body.
And so I was reminded:
I am connected to the world at large.
Thank you, thank you, thank you.
Lest we forget:
I am connected to the world at large.
You are connected to the world at large.
We are connected to the world at large.
I am the world at large.
You are the world at large.
We are the world at large.