I needed to write

I needed to write to come and write to let my soul be heard. I needed to write, to come to write, to let my words rebirth.

I needed to write to come and write to feel my fingers on the keys. I needed to write to come and write to hit publish and let it fly away.

I needed to write to come and write and remind myself this is here. When I feel away, so far away, I still can come here. Though it’s been hard and that’s why I left, not intending to overstay my leave, I have gone and I came back and I wrote this here today.

Not concerned so much if the words make sense–realizing they probably don’t. But words needed out and my muscles flexed to show that I still come out.

I needed to write to come to write and show up for myself this way. I needed to write to show myself this is a gift I will not part.

I just know that I have words and I’ve stumbled on trying to speak. Separated by grief and excess, unable to make a day, I needed to come, to show myself, that it can still be done. I needed today, to come today, to say I’ll be alright.

I have money still in me. More words than I can say. A flight or a freeze, not a worry today.

I needed to come and I’m glad I did. I let the words flow freely. Needn’t caring about grammar or worth but letting out what’s been hidden.

I’m glad I did. I’m glad I came before reason had me leave. Because I’ve wanted to stay, wanted to say, far longer than I’ve imagined.

So maybe this is all, as far as I will get, before I chase the send away. I just needed to come, to tell myself, I still have life within.

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